what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize