she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
