Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we made out on top of his cat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
