just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Enjoy the penises
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
