Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
