apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
