Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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