First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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