Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
