i'm signing you up for texting rehab
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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