My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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