im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
