My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
