Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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