He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
