Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
