Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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