I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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