shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
