I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
