Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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