...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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