My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
