My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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