yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
