i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
