Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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