but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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