How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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