I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Someone shit on the floor
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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