grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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