yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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