look no pants
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
