As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
