i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
