dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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