I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
