just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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