I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
