Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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