Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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