He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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