I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
this is an emotional support booty call
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
