Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Where did you get a picture of my penis
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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