What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
