If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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