like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
please don't ironically join a cult
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