It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
third nipple confirmed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
