Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
