Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
