Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Randomize
